About me: The world is too big, corrupt, and full of surprises. I enjoy observing it and want to DeToxiCate it with my thoughts.
I was driving my car to a restaurant with a close-friend and a semi-friend in SD. Then, from what I remember, we were later leaving some kind of museum or park. While walking, for some reason, my right foot was hooked onto a skateboard and my left was free so I was dragging the foot while skateboarding on a wooden bridge. When we made a left turn, I heard my friend freak out and then when I looked to the sky, it was dark and deep red like hell like nothing I’d ever seen before. A huge hellish totem pole reaching the top of the sky of the earth and about the width of a huge city building started falling down and dropping before it hit the bridge we were on… and… I woke up.
one of the people on my fb friend’s list who i dont really talk to, did try to talk to but the other person makes it difficult and awkward to continue the conversation, is friends with some of my friends.
she posts pictures of her brushing her teeth and her in n out fries.
man, social media and attention grabbing, i just don’t get this shit. next thing you know, she’s gonna be releasing vods of herself sleeping lol wut.
It’s been almost 1 year since I found my first job and I’ve already had so many doubts in my head. They’ve disappeared in the beginning but new ones have grown over time. When the work first started, it’s been the following:
I feel like I kind of got tricked on the first question. They told me they were a startup. I was wrong. They were a startup’s startup. A startup is where a company actually creates a product and works on it. I was doing contracting work with other people… not really your typical startup. But this always bothers me when I think of what I could be doing in an actual startup. There’s nothing more bothersome than doing contracting work in some old code that’s been crapping out and layering on top of crap over and over.
Second question has faded over time. I can tell they finally “trust” me. Okay…I’m still bothered by this. I understand the need to ask and double-check what I’m doing but there are certain situations where you just don’t have to babysit and review what I just did. So one of the co-founders, my boss, tells me to send him over my code and explain to him what I did. Explaining to him is already a headache because he’s not a computer science major and I’ve already been diving into the work more than he has since he’s doing all the business “planning” for it. And even after he goes through my code, he doesn’t fully understand what’s going on and has to disagree with me half the time. Pretty annoying, that’s why the fact that I feel trusted goes out the window. They say they trust me but their actions tell me otherwise.
Third question, I have no doubt learned a great amount. I feel so confident in my abilities now that I could take on anything from web development, game development, to any kind of coding if I just spend time on it. Problem is I feel like I’ve already learned everything to the near max within less than a few months. There’s no doubt I’m still learning as I go but it’s now in trickling amounts and not like the huge impacting amount when you first start. In fact, I feel so confident of my abilities that it’s time to leave and look for a new job.
Fourth question… actually I think this was a really good choice. At least it was a small amount of people and I was able to constantly collaborate with other people. But then, I start to think “Oh, I’m working with people barely a few years older than me, two of the three who have not even worked under experienced people in the field.” I had to take this choice because no one else was wanted to hire me but unfortunately, I want to learn from the best.
Fifth question. Based on my earlier thoughts, it’s obvious I feel like I deserve more. In fact, from the very beginning, I asked them if I was going to take part in their meetings (I haven’t). It’s understandable that I didn’t take part in understanding how they wanted to run the company. But when it came to things like how to deal with the contracting work, I didn’t get to play a part in the planning. And a few months ago, I swear I would have already quit if they hadn’t told me I would be a part of their new product.
And I thought that meant a lot… so I’ve stayed… But even while working towards the new product, I feel like I haven’t gone anywhere. It’s felt like slave work to me (since they don’t put me in the planning process). It hasn’t made sense to me that they don’t put a developer in the planning process because the one reading the code, writing the code, touching the code all the time knows what the fuck is up. And then it’s like I said in question 2, where’s the trust with what I’m doing? You’re not even touching the code so why does your planning mean so much more than if I did it?
Black people have made some of the best music of our time. Actually, they were the reason for the birth of great music. Yet, as they drive by me day in and day out, they listen to the shittiest music possible.
I always hated the fact that I had a poorly constructed Asian name (because it doesn’t follow the alphabetic sound by its pronunciation in Mandarin) but enjoyed the fact that it’s a unique name. That’s why even though I have the name David, it wasn’t official till I got my citizenship recently in which I decided to make David my middle name. “David Chen”. Can we say most fucking common Asian name in the world? (Maybe there’s also Kevin Chen I guess but I’ve hardly heard that one. Last week, some black kid thought my name was Kevin and was surprised it was David)
Anyways, I’ve always enjoyed making acronyms for my name to keep a nice identity tag for myself: DTC.
Ok, game of thrones finished downloading. Byebye
I was on facebook, relaxing and I occasionally enjoy reading the articles my friends throw up. Nothing’s more interesting than something mentioning your race so I went to see this article: http://takimag.com/article/tackling_asian_privilege_gavin_mcinnes/print#axzz2MjCquXZL.
Wow, it frightens me some of the comments I saw in response to that article, giving absolute praise to an article that seemed to represent Asians as a secret race representing the higher order of America. Note: this article is a satire. I wasn’t sure, honestly, because of the comments. And viewing his twitter, you know, I can’t really read sarcasm or jokes online, it’s very difficult to perceive. But why I can’t find it funny at all isn’t because I’m Asian. It’s because none of it is logical enough. I’m sure the intent of satire is blowing up the truth but there really is no truth in his statement and nothing funny about the remarks he makes (and I do love negative humor).
I’m just curious about this Gavin’s background with the Asian culture because he throws out so many strange slanders at Asians. I wasn’t offended while reading this…. I was just… confused. Small statements like “An Asian can listen to rap music very loudly on a boom box while riding the New York subway without anyone wondering if they’re going to get stabbed.” I know he lives in NY and I’m guessing he saw an Asian listening to rap music very loudly but that isn’t your typical Asian. That’s probably your “ghetto Asian” who tries to imitate “black toughness” or someone who just really loves rap music and doesn’t care what others around him think. If anything, that quote actually counters his whole article because the kind of people who do that lack respect for others and usually consist of the lower-income people.
But the main focus of Gavin’s article is our privilege. He says we’re overprivileged. Now, I understand and think I can explain the racist belief that Asians are “smarter”, that we are “too cheap and like to save money.” This is why Gavin believes Asians are overrepresented, that statistically we have so many advantages in terms of the higher income and better living.
Here’s the reason:
We’re immigrants to the country called the US. It’s not easy to just fly into the US. A lot of the people who came in from outside the country (like Europeans) have the money and the education to survive in the new environment. People who move to other countries are usually more educated in the first place. But there are also poor people who go to other countries with the bare minimum. Gavin would probably counter my point by talking about Mexicans but the truth is, they’re so close and that’s why they’re usually poor and come into the US as well.
But Asians also have poor people. And this is a part of why Gavin’s article is so ridiculous and lacks explanation. He mentions that Asians “need to recognize they got to where they are not by the virtue of hard work.” You gotta be kidding me Gavin. If you want to know any stereotypical fact about Asians, it’s that they work too hard. (Just do a study on Japanese culture and ask how much they work) The whole article, Gavin talks about our “privileges” but doesn’t explain where they came from. It’s like Asians magically held this power over American society. Uhh, excuse me, it’s a society full of white people (your people, Gavin) and if you want more Asians to be doctors, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because you thought we were the higher race And it’s not like white people are blind about it like Gavin mention (wow, how ironic, you make your own people sound stupid). Whites have a lot of smart people too. They just happen to like most of us and we happen to represent a small portion of the population)
The guy doesn’t make any logical explanations for why Asians are “overprivileged” and the article just seems to be a nonsensical hate statement towards Asians. Gavin just sounds like someone who is completely jealous of where Asians have landed in terms of education and wealth.
In terms of offensiveness, I feel bad for Japanese people who encountered his article. Gavin mentions Hiroshima and Nagasaki like they’re heavenly rebuilt cities due to American bombings. I felt like that was really offensive and ignorant. The struggles of cities like Detroit come from both cultural and economic issues. He shouldn’t be mentioning tragic bombings of Asian cities. He should be questioning why LA and the city of NY he lives in are so great compared to Detroit instead. I think in this regard, he should apologize to Japanese people.
Game of Thrones: softcore porn with a lot of conversation, maybe a little too much.
When other people mention cars to me, I always say that I know even less about cars than most girls do. I really don’t even recognize the proper brands that pop out other than the ones I’ve driven.
Heh, so why are guys so interested in cars? Why is anyone so interested in cars? They want the speed, the want the horsepower, the torque, and the thrill of that combination. The roar of the engine and shiny flair might add more speed, power, and beauty to all of that. But when do you get to use that?
At least not around where I am: Los Angeles (well actually, I’m in San Diego now). But what can you do with a flashy, powerful car in LA? Nothing, there’s a shitload of traffic. Wait, what can you do with that speed in all of the populous, full cities of the US? Nothing, there’s a little something called traffic laws that few people wish to obey but still limit themselves within certain boundaries.
“speed limit 30? i know i can go 5 above that, maybe 10 if the street’s open. speed limit 65 on the freeway? I know 70 to maybe 80, i see people going 80 all the time so that’s safe to go”
Even at the speed of 80-100, you’re not getting anywhere close to where that amazing car can take you. My point is, everyone’s interest in cars is close to moot. You focus so much of your interest and desire on a glorified, expensive piece of junk.
It’s like as if you were a child, thinking you were president and could have all that power and control over the nation, but you don’t have that complete, absolute power in a democracy. Or becoming a billionaire, you really wouldn’t know what to do with all that money (Ok, maybe you can do something with most of it). I can’t really make a good metaphor with this one because I make efficient use of the stuff I get and even if it’s not efficient, I use what I bought it for. You’re never gonna buy a ferrari and get to drive it over 300 mph. All you can do is show it off during good days and then drive it safely back to your garage or get it ruined by the nasty parts of LA.
And then there’s the leading cause of death: car accidents. It really frightens me (ok it doesn’t, but I can imagine what will happen) when I’m the road and I see people doing unreasonable things like curving at super high speeds or not noticing when other cars are getting in front of them. I kind of imagine these people driving cars like they’re walking in front of people and not driving. If you’ve ever been in the crowded areas of Asia, people will bump one another and not give it notice. This is what I foresee when I see these unreasonable people drive. It’s way too easy to get a license. And ironically, it’s way too easy to get a ticket even for people who can drive properly.
So I ask again. Yes, you, reading this p.o.s. post that doesn’t show cars enough respect. Why do you like cars?
We all wanted to watch this for two reasons: action and the mix of espionage/recklessness with the new bond (Got any other reason? Then that has little to do with actual Bond meaning you don’t like the movie either). Action was pretty good until he got shot in the beginning. The action died with the lack of plot logic. If you don’t have a plot working, then honestly the action for the most part is pointless.
The main issue was the plot. Strange, eerie, homosexual antagonist with mommy issues dominates the whole Mi6 and has everything under control and only loses to Bond because he gives it away? It happens like 3 times where he has Bond hopeless, shows up, lets him continue to follow him. And then at the end when they finally meet up near the end, he whines in front of the chief and then just gives Bond free opportunity to finally kill him. Not to mention, the female chief died and Bond failed the mission anyways and there was no positive gain in the end.
Stupid. Either they promoted it too well with awesome reviews or people are too stuck in love with Bond. I even fell asleep in the previous one because I couldn’t follow the plot and fell asleep. I only liked Casino Royale.
So how do you feel about fate and destiny?
I don’t believe in it, you know. IF there IS a fate and destiny, then there’s really a, you know, lack of special feeling in life. And really, why would certain negative events even happen, you know? You know, I…
No, I don’t fucking know. Stop saying you know. I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.
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